As we each go through life, we have to take steps to make sure we find the happiness that can truly make our life that much better. I know that I have trouble finding those steps many times in my past. Maybe it is just me, but I always seem to get misdirected and lost along the way. Each step I take leads me to another place that I am unsure I want to be.
For instance, I know that right now, there are certain things and people that I do not need in my life any longer.
I just know that in the overall scheme of life, they are not people who can help me. I will not say any names, because that would just be rude and inconsiderate on my part, but there are a couple people who I just will never understand. First, there is an ex-girlfriend, who I ended my relationship with almost 3 and a half years ago. I got a message from her a few days ago asking me to come over and hang out. I, at first, thought nothing of it because she said she wants to build up the friendship we once had, before our actual relationship. In the discussion of my possible coming over to hang out, she then decided to say that we could “play.” I immediately began to think that she has an ulterior motive to her wanting to work on our friendship. This is going to be one of those moments where I am going to sound like a rude prick, but I have to be honest. I am not attracted to her at all. She is no a person who I would want to “play” with these days. In reality, I have sworn off play for the time being and will probably try to avoid it at all costs until I meet the right person and I am heading down the aisle. (It is just the place where I need to be.) I was not very excited about all of that and now I am thinking it is time to just eliminate her for good and move on with my life.
Second, and this will be a huge shock, is another ex-girlfriend. I got an instant message the other day from her, which was not out of the ordinary considering we talk quite often. Well, in the midst of the conversation, she brings up that she feels that she has let “the one” get away from her. So, being the caring and helpful guy I can be, I asked, stupidly, who she thought “the one” might be. I should not have asked. She proceeds to tell me that she thinks that I am “the one,” and that she wanted to see if it would work now, a couple years down the road from the last time. Needless to say, I was shocked. I did not really know what to do, so I just told her the truth. I told her that right now was not the time. I told her that I do care for her and love her, but that I cannot be in a relationship right now, especially a long distance one (she has moved back home to Columbus from Huntington now). I think I kind of crushed her feelings, but I had to be honest with her or risk causing myself more pain in the end.
So, as you can tell, I really need to step away from a large selections of things in my life so I can find my sanity again. So, I am taking time and taking a break to find out who I am and what I have become in the recent past. It may take some time, but I am sure that in the long run, I will be for the better.
- Rick
